WHEN FATES COLLIDE

I'm sorry, I can't contain it until the end: I loved "When Fates Collide!" Five chakram rating with a slam dunk. This was a tale they could only tell in the Xenaverse, and what a tale it was! Where is all the commentary on this outing? I went back through the old e-mails, and except for Shana and Helen (these girls know a good episode when they see one!), I don't think anyone said much about it. I mean, it completely changed everything, much like the 25 year time lapse. At least I think that's what happened. There's all this "OT" stuff going on, but virtual silence on this incredible episode? C'mon, people, let's talk Xena before there's nothing much left to talk about! I know it's old news now as I write this, but I can't believe everyone wasn't telling their own interpretation of the ending. Sorry, I'm just so excited--so before I give any more away, let's insert some

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First, let's compare this episode to last week's, "Last of the Centaurs." In general concept, it is very similar to that show: a typical season six adventure which touches on some old major plot devices (in this case, Rome/Caesar/Alti/the bond between X&G/alternate realities), brings in some "dead" costars for final gala appearances (in this case, Caesar/Alti/Brutus/Joxer), and gives us a few moving clips from previous episodes (raise your hand if you want new footage in your Xena episode). Unlike last week, where it all sounded kind of stale and thrown-together (relative to this week), now those very devices become strengths in an incredible plot that I'll outline shortly. We had, in effect, an homage to Xena, from Xena: five and a half years of TV show packed into one incredible hour (there was even room for nearly a quarter hour of commercials, thank the gods!). We've seen them do homages to other movies and TV shows before, and now they turn the camera on themselves. Simply fascinating.

Being a show about alternate reality, the writers were free to reinvent entire scenes, dress, dialogue, and plot lines in a way that twisted everything we know on end, and the "alternate" part made the rehashing an integral part of the story. They substitute characters for the originals from a past scene to completely change the context, such as a restaging here of the Gab-drag from "Bittersuite" redone with Xena in the "dragee" position (karmic retribution?). They also took us on a trip in which Xena and Gabrielle's attractions almost take the "sub" out of "subtext." Why not, since this isn't the "real" X&G? Virtually the entire episode is built around stuff you've already seen, but reimagined in a tangled plot worthy of any episode featuring that diabolical Caesar. I'll do my best to point out some of the more interesting "reinventions" as I go along. I don't have quite the steel trap mind of some of the more trivia-minded, so I'll probably miss a few, but you'll get the idea. If you've seen all the old episodes, especially "Ides of March," there will be nothing like watching this episode yourself as many of the "quotes" are visual as much as anything.

So, right off, we know something funny's going on. From "Destiny," we see Xena on the cross, Caesar commanding her legs to be broken. Been there, done that. Suddenly, as the hammer falls, a voice commands the action to stop, rewind, and we're back to Xena's scene seducing Caesar. Stop again.

We pull back to see that Caesar has gotten out of Tartarus, what with Hades no longer available to keep an eye on things. He's chained up the three Fates and is skimming through the past via a viewing pool (you've seen these used before on Xena and Hercules). He lets go of the thread, and it's cool the way it just retracts back into the tapestry. The weave of the fabric is rather sloppy, but I guess this reflects the untidiness that is life.

He thinks if he'd only partnered up with Xena instead of betraying her, they'd both be ruling the Roman Empire as the most powerful couple on the planet. So, he's located "this defining Xena moment: mysterious, romantic, good lighting." The episode is peppered with these bon mots dropped right in the middle of dramatic scenes. How can you not love it? My only complaint is, it appears Karl Urban didn't want to cut his hair Caesar-style, so he appears to me to be wearing a rather unconvincing wig. Or maybe he just slept on it wrong--it looks better as the episode goes on. But once again, he totally inhabits the character of Caesar, and he's given the entire stage to chew up this time.

So what does he do? Still covered in the blood from "Ides of March," he cuts the defining thread, and it pulls back into the fabric, altering all of time into....

Caesar is allocating food to the people. Brutus walks up. Excellent! I always liked the character, since he seemed less evil and more a tool for those around him. A multi-shaded performance. Seems the Roman Empire, with Caesar at its head, is doing quite well, and Lao Ma's emissaries are here to talk about a peace alliance. Right away, we have an episode with Rome and Chin, Caesar and (in spirit) Lao Ma.

As Caesar and Brutus discuss the upcoming meeting, the gates open to a warrior woman on horseback, tall, lean and a vision in black. Never ones to resist dragging out the suspense, they have her wearing a face-concealing helmet, but surely you can guess. She charges into the plaza before Caesar, going out of her way to cream all the soldiers in the area in what appears to be a kamikaze attack on Caesar. Except he's standing there cool as a cucumber even as she sends arrows right by his head. Was this from a previous episode? I felt like I've seen this scene before. A familiar battle cry, and you now know what alternate character we have here. What's funny is seeing Brutus start to draw his sword, then realizing it's just Xena, he gives an expression like, "How many times is she gonna do that?" When Xena removes her helmet, she says to Caesar, "My Emperor," and he replies, "My Empress." By the gods, in this time line, Caesar and Xena rule together, and by his conniving look and her mischievous smile, something's brewing. We think we see the Evil Xena, but that's not quite the case.

We cut from a beautiful view of ancient Rome to an interior with Caesar walking along, Xena on his arm. He has planned an evening of entertainment for Xena featuring a playwright from Greece. "Thought you'd appreciate a taste of your own culture," he says, strangely attentive to Xena's feelings. Does he really care for her in this reality, or is it more of his underhanded plotting? "More drivel from old men with tricky names," Xena replies jokingly, obviously looking forward to it more than Caesar. If she only knew which playwright she would meet later that night! But she doesn't appear Evil with a capitol E here. She seems happy and content, glad to be Empress of Rome and having the power to do what she considers right.

When the emissaries from Chin show up, Xena runs off to do some schmoozing in the senate in an attempt to get more arms from them. Once she's gone, Caesar gets that oily tone back in his voice, buttering up the emissaries. Meanwhile, the High Priestess of Rome is sneaking up behind them, and it turns out to be Alti! We get spooky music and the emissaries get a "lifetime of pain in one exquisite moment." They die, and Alti laughs. Alti, like Xena, doesn't seem to be doing too badly in this reality. She's dressed to the hilt and seems to be on intimate, very intimate, terms with Caesar.

Caesar, yawning, and Xena, weeping, are watching the play ("Fallen Angel" of all things!) later that evening. The theme the actors express of eternal love sounds like the outpouring of a peaceful, philosophical bard, say--"Gabrielle, the visionary voice of Athens," as she's introduced after the play to the audience. The crowd seems to like her, and she's looking good: a beautiful orange dress, her long hair done up in an ornate 'do, and pelted with flowers from an adoring crowd, as well as from one Empress. Her life's looking good, too, as the toast of Athens. All things considered, this looks like a fairly nice "reality"--all the characters are finding themselves high places in the Roman hierarchy or ways to realize their particular talents. With Alti and Caesar around, you know this relative bliss won't last long.

Of course, when Xena, from her box, catches Gabrielle's eyes on the stage, there are no words, but mountains of nonverbal communication pass between them. Like we've always known, these two will be together forever no matter what. But in this case, the writers let the sparks of this love fly a bit less impeded than normal. Trust me, those are more than just "friendly" looks they exchange. Ooh la la! Both of the girls look a little unsettled, but intrigued, by the eye contact.

Afterwards, at the cast orgy-er, party (this is ancient Rome, right? Where's all the decadence?), Xena gets Gabrielle aside to discuss her play, and through that, her philosophy of love as something worth dying for. Caesar looks on with an inscrutable look on his face. He obviously doesn't like Xena talking to the bard, and Alti whispering little sarcastic remarks in his ear isn't helping.

Gabrielle stresses the success of Xena's life in this reality: "All of Rome talks about you, the country thrives, the people adore you. They say that the army would follow you through the gates of Hades." For Evil Xena, she looks pretty uncomfortable being praised like that. Perhaps in this reality, Xena, although aligning herself with Caesar, has finally outgrown her violent past. Perhaps even without Hercules' help, she still would've eventually matured and done good. Running into Gabrielle would've only hastened that process, as Caesar seems to intuit. She seems to enjoy the arts more than we've ever seen. The army may be loyal, but, despite the dramatic entrance, you can't quite picture this Xena being a ruthless, Livia-style champion of Rome. She's softened, and that's a good time to bring the bard into the picture as we will see.

Shifty-eyed Caesar breaks up the conversation (tell me this guy's not plotting something every waking second) and takes Xena back to his chambers, where she informs him he's not getting any tonight. From his reaction, this isn't the first time she's refused his physical affections ("It's been a long time," he observes--"It's been a long day," is her counter). We get the first glimpse that all's not well in this world. Caesar and Xena seem to have a loveless marriage, despite what they show to the public. And with Alti showing considerable power and willingness to, well, get physical with Caesar, perhaps he's thinking it's time for a new wife? Look out, Xena!

(Aside: anyone notice how the opening credits were still going by fifteen whole minutes into the show?)

After Caesar leaves, we get another dose of subtext. Xena drifts idly out onto her balcony, only to find--everybody together--Gabrielle out on her balcony right across the way. She's got nothing on but a towel or sheet pulled up around her throat, looking positively ravishing as well as ravishable. At first Xena tries to hide in the shadows (flirting? playing hard to get?), then she appears in the light. The two stare at each other for a long time (you could just kiss the girl, he-he), then Gabrielle lowers her eyes respectfully to the Empress. Suddenly breaking the spell, Alti appears behind Xena in the shadows. "I had the most interesting vision tonight of you and the writer," Alti says. I swear, she's right up there with Callisto in finding just the most disturbing thing to say to anyone at a given moment (remember "How long did it take Perdicus to die?"). I was having that vision too, and I'm not even a High Priestess!

Xena ignores her and wants to know what the heck she's doing in her bedchamber. Alti continues to tease Xena with some provocative musings focused on Xena's new flame. Alti says Xena's in her way, and "it's time to do something about it." Cat fight!

However, it's not long before Alti's got her neck lock on Xena (again, she doesn't appear the fighter so much here) and forcing disturbing memories down her throat. We see her back broken in "Ides of March," her arms hacked off in "The Way," and a scene of her getting put down hard in the arena (from "When In Rome..."? I'm not sure). Yes, Alti equals clips from previous episodes. Here, what's really interesting, is that she's showing Xena things that occurred in the true Xenaverse. These things would not have happened in this reality. Does Alti know about Caesar's tampering with time? Does even Caesar know, or once the time line changed, is he equally confident this is his proper time? We'll find out soon. And we break to commercial with Alterna Xena about to succumb to Alti.

Fortunately, Brutus appears to break it up, Caesar hot on his heels. This leads to one of the best exchanges this show. Caesar seems concerned. How much of that was acting, and how much real , who's to say? Caesar, brandishing a knife at Alti, says, "Is there a single reason I shouldn't kill you right now?" Xena softly but with great menace, interjects, "Yes--because I want to do it--in the forum, before the public." Woah! Xena gets that intense look of hers, but again, it's not Evil Xena--this is reformed Xena, but really, really pissed off! And as Brutus hauls off Alti, Caesar hugs Xena. His face is passionless, and she appears distracted, especially once Gabrielle returns to her balcony. We don't know how much Caesar remembers about "real" reality, but he seems to know that Xena's fixation with this girl is not something that will benefit, ahem, Rome.

I love Joseph LoDuca's Roman music. We hear it again this episode, with the horn theme, and it works marvelously.

Later, Xena strolls into Caesar's work area and sees Brutus heading off with a guard detail. She questions Caesar, and he says Alti, still in the dungeon, confessed the Athens bard was an accomplice, so she's being arrested (and one would assume, executed). He even implicates the emissaries from Chin, therefore justifying their killing as well. "I hope you weren't too fond of her." What a guy! Xena is smart enough to see right through it, and smart enough to keep her mouth closed until she's ready to play her hand.

As we see Gabrielle, under protest, being led to her cell, who should they pass but Joxer! In a Roman soldier's outfit no less. Again, I had to think this life suited him. Instead of a good-for-nothing bungler (a role X&G helped him transcend at times), here he's a member of the Roman guard, proudly following in the warrior tradition of his family. My complaint, however, is they used him here like they used Ephiny in the last episode. He plays a part that any extra could play, not much like Joxer at all, not even much like any sort of alternative Joxer. He gets a few token lines and a quick Joxer-like interlude later with Gabrielle, and that's about it. Obviously just shoved in at the last minute to give him a bow. At least we got to see Ted Raimi again. For such a bozo, I really miss the guy in the show.

The writers obviously know how much cutting Gabrielle's youthful blond tresses seems to freak out the audience, and again, we see her losing her hair. This time, in the twist, it's a Roman guard preparing her for execution. Fortunately, the guy must be a hair dresser in his off hours, as he cuts her traditional Roman hairstyle into a nice, contemporary, evenly cut short style. Kinda like she had before! This scene seems to mark the part where the show transitions from the "introduction" into the "homage" part. From here on out, we are bombarded with twisted scenes of a past no one on the show remembers.

Xena, now craftily using her powers as Empress, gets Joxer to let her into the bard's cell. She orders the soldiers out, and has a heart-to-heart with Gabrielle. As usual, putting these two exquisite actresses nose-to-nose results in a fabulous scene. Gabrielle stands, addressing Xena as "Empress" in a tired voice. She appears to be wearing her rags from the "Ides of March" crucifixion. The alternate reality begins to reverberate.

In a stunning bit of word play, after being questioned by the Empress, Gabrielle asks, "Why should you believe me instead of your husband?" Xena reflects as Gabrielle sits down, relaxing a bit. "I trust you," she says. Gabrielle: "Why?" Xena: "You think that love is worth dying for (the subject of the last night's play). It's not exactly the path of an assassin." It's so cool the way these two immediately grasp each other, even though, in this reality, they've never met before.

They hear crosses being built just outside. "You can't have a crucifixion without crosses," Xena says. I believe that line is from something else, but memory fails me on that one. Then, realizing that Gabrielle has no clue why she's been charged, Xena goes to do some more research. The looks the two women give each other in this scene are simply tragic. They both are realizing they belong together, but they peer across the room as though watching an ocean liner drift by in the cold, night waters, unable to change their own course of destiny.

So if Alti set Gabrielle up, you go talk to Alti next. Joxer hesitates to let her in. "But Caesar said--" he begins. "--to enrage the Empress until she beats the tar out of you?" Xena finishes. She's got that "I'm not taking any BS off anybody right now" sound in her voice, matched by the glint of her steely gaze.

Alti may be a bitch, but even she thinks it's funny the playwright was supposedly involved. I suspect Xena knew this the whole time and was only seeking verification. Alti laughs, then sobers up quickly, asking, "What do you want?" Xena replies, "Your hands on me. Like they were last night." Bad-da bing! What would Athens' favorite bard think? Even Alti leans back on hearing that. "They gave me insight and knowledge," she continues. Oh, she means she wants Alti to show her more visions as she did before her arrest.

Alti complies to gain her freedom, and when Xena threatens any mischief with the wrath of her husband, Alti grabs her throat and shows her all the times Caesar has screwed her over through the years (the ever popular, "Break her legs!"). These are also scenes from a reality they do not know here, but Xena realizes Caesar is a rat and can't be relied on to help her. There is also a scene of Caesar and a woman, back to us, copulating in bed, Xena watching from the wings. Don't remember that one--possibly that's the future she's showing.

Suddenly, we see scenes of Gabrielle as they drift into Xena's brain. We see the hardships they endured together, the tender moments they shared, Gabrielle's talk of dying for love. Then, for contrast, we go back to Caesar and see him snipping the time line at the beginning of the show. Xena now comes armed with knowledge of who Gabrielle really is, as well as how Caesar set up this whole perverted existence.

Even Alti is surprised by all this. She obviously just let it fly, and didn't realize how much alternate reality was seeping in. "Those images--they're not from this life, there's something more," she says, wide-eyed with amazement in her voice. And Joxer appears to announce they've taken the playwright to be executed. No! Not Gabrielle! Again!!

Yes, with the garb and Roman setting, we find ourselves reliving the crucifixion from "Ides of March," only this time, Gabrielle is alone, without Xena there to draw strength and comfort from. She's just a frightened young woman from Greece. Caesar comes out to watch, and just as they're about to drive the first nail through her lovely little hand, Xena shows up. She orders the guards to stop.

She begins to let Caesar have it both barrels, verbally, in front of the troops. Caesar totally denies everything, but you can immediately see from his too-easy expression that he has been quite aware of the truth from the beginning. Xena confronts him with breaking her legs on the beach, and he realizes that Xena can no longer be led astray. He pulls her inside to speak in private. He claims he regretted his betrayal so much, that's why he edited the loom as he did. He tells her they are about to conquer Lao Ma's kingdom, the richest in Chin (sounds like she's doing OK in this reality as well), and then the whole world will be at their feet. "That is our destiny," he concludes.

Surprisingly, Xena says that can still happen if he lets the playwright free. It's hard to believe she means this, and I see it as probably more of a ploy to buy time. She tells Caesar if he doesn't comply, she'll spend her life putting things back, "and I can do it, because we both know I have many skills." Oh, yeah, "many skills!" I love it! And what a snarl at the end! This results in a withered look from Caesar, who orders Gabrielle to be released. A happy ending, more or less, to the crucifixion scene--this time!

Xena rushes to Gabrielle, throwing back the guards and telling them to keep their filthy hands off her. Gabrielle, obviously shaken, begins to cry and thanks the Empress for saving her life. Xena lifts up Gabrielle's face to hers and says, "I'm not your Empress, I'm your friend." She puts her royal cloak around Gabrielle, telling her to return to her vineyards by the sea and write the stories she still has in her. She's prepared to lose Gabrielle forever to ensure her happiness.

Then, Gabrielle reveals the hidden dark side of her life here. She has always felt empty despite her success. "I write about love, but I've never felt it before," she says, tears streaming down her cheeks. Caesar is watching, and he doesn't look too amused. Xena sees him and smells deception.

Caesar goes to Alti, now free and writhing on the bed in a rather kinky outfit. He doesn't seem troubled that Xena let her free. But if she wants back in his good graces, he states, she must kill Gabrielle for him. The amoral Alti has no problem with this, and goes out to kill Gabrielle on her return journey where Xena won't see the treachery.

Gabrielle is riding through the countryside, unaccompanied. She's wearing a pretty gray and blue outfit, but that won't protect her. As a matter of fact, if the High Priestess of Rome where to happen by, she'd be at her mercy! Who's that on the horizon? Alti! And she does her speeded up run thing, coming upon Gabrielle before she has a chance to react. She waves an arm, and the bard is tossed a distance from her horse, and suddenly, Alti's grip around her throat causes her neck to crackle painfully!

Alti shows Gabrielle more clips from the real reality, both good (her relationship with Xena) and bad (her relationship with Alti), bringing her up to date on the situation at hand. Alti's motive for doing this would appear to be simply to torture Gabrielle with images of a life of promise and love lost to her impending death.

But Xena pops up to distract Alti, who drops Gabrielle like a hot potato to face the more interesting challenge. Xena's again dressed in that stunning leather outfit from the first of the episode, and as she rides down on Alti, she lets an arrow fly--apparently this reality's version of her trademark chakram. Alti bravely runs away at full super speed.

Xena dashes to Gabrielle, only to find her gurgling incoherently, her eyes vacant and blood coming from her nose. Xena cries out Alti's name, and finds that Alti hasn't left--she's just lurking around the edges, waiting to attack. Her voice travels to Xena, telling her that her contact with the other reality has left her stronger. I'm not sure how one follows from the other, but perhaps this is an example of "knowledge is power."

Alti flies long distance to attack Xena from above, but Xena jumps up to meet her. Amazingly, the first contact results in Alti going down long enough for Xena to pinch her into submission. Not much of a fight by Alti! Probably edited for time. And surprisingly, when Xena punches her, Gabrielle reacts as though to a blow, falling to the ground with a gasp. Is her inability to speak due to a continuing psychic connection with Alti? Will every blow Xena lands hurt her friend?

Roman soldiers appear out of nowhere (I guess Caesar was having them followed), and Xena punches out Alti to concentrate on the new attackers. No reaction from Gabrielle to the punch, so I guess I was reading too much into the psychic connection. But still, Gabrielle isn't doing well.

Xena really lets it fly, and we have a tribute to Gabrielle's orgy of Roman blood in "Ides of March." Xena's here to protect Gabrielle, who's hurt, just as Gabrielle protected her after her spinal injury. And like Gabrielle, she simply cuts into those poor soldiers with a vengeance! She's slicing, she's dicing, and we get one of those moves where she grabs the top of a spear and spins in a circle, kicking down the attackers in waves. We see chariots and horse riders with crossbows appear, and suddenly, Xena gets arrows to the thigh and right shoulder--and she's down, ladies and gentlemen! Not enough to kill her, but enough to stop her, as the Romans drag off Gabrielle. Fortunately, Joxer is the soldier with the honors, and again he puts his protective net around the woman he loves. Joxer here isn't a stooge--he's full of nobility.

Caesar walks up to gloat, and Xena tells it like it is: "You betrayed me again, Caesar. No matter what life you live, you'll always be scum. Not even the Fates could change that." (And what did we learn from tonight's program, children?) With this, she's tied up and given the alterna Gab-drag mentioned above. While Gabrielle looks on in horror (she's pretty well snapped out of it by now with no obvious lasting damage), Alti laughs heartily as she and Caesar exchange knowing looks. Seems Xena's out, Alti's in.

Back in Rome, Brutus expresses concern about Xena's fate, saying the troops are uneasy. Caesar plays him like a sucker, uttering kind assurances to Brutus that everything's under control. Caesar asks him if he also looks up to Xena, and Brutus can tell right away there aren't too many right answers to that question. Caesar informs him that Alti will be joining him as Empress on the march to Lao Ma's kingdom. "Do you have a problem with that?' Thinking swiftly, as one must've had to do to be a player in Rome, Brutus says, "Caesar, if I speak out, it is from concern. It doesn't mean I'm any less loyal to you." He smiles, thinking he's found the right reply, but will Caesar (with Karl Urban in full bore Caesar mode at this point) accept any answer if he wants a person dead? Hell no! With a cold, I'm-just-telling-you-how-it-is voice, Caesar says, "Don't misunderstand me, it's not that I love you any less, but that I love Rome--" (insert sickening knife to the gut sounds here) "--more." He twists the knife, killing Brutus before he hits the floor. "And I am Rome." A simply brilliant scene in which we have the reverse of Brutus stabbing Caesar to death.

We cut to Joxer letting Gabrielle in to visit Xena, lying miserably in her cell, her wounds untreated. "I can't believe they were going to kill you for writing that bad play," he says in all seriousness. "I saw it. Coulda used a few more fight scenes." "I'll keep that in mind," is Gabrielle's terse reply. Like I said, this episode is peppered with these comic gems. I'm astounded that Gabrielle is even alive. Surely Caesar would've killed her back in the field just to be done with her--wipe the whole Xena affair from the earth. But he doesn't, and that turns out to be his fatal mistake. Or it would be if he lived that long.

Now Xena's in her "Ides of March" crucifixion outfit, with Gabrielle again playing the role of comforter. "Xena, when I'm with you this emptiness that I've felt my entire life is gone," Gabrielle states quite passionately. When Xena reveals the scope of Caesar's plan to her, Gabrielle wants to help, but Xena tells her not to. She wants Gabrielle to escape and live out her life. "I have to do this alone," Xena says. Wrong! Haven't you been watching the last six years, Miss Warrior Princess. Asking Gab to leave is like asking water not to run downhill. You will never be alone. "Some things are worth dying for. Isn't that what your play was about? Be prepared to sacrifice all for love," she continues. "For love," Gabrielle echoes, rubbing Xena's back. Xena says she hated Caesar in the other lifetime, but now she sees that everything happens as it should. How many more times will the writers wring out our hearts like this? I felt so helpless just sitting here watching. Just like when I watched "Ides" the first time.

As the soldiers come to take away Xena, she begs Gabrielle to leave. Gabrielle won't hear of it, and this makes Xena smile one last time as Gabrielle holds her head in her hands. Somehow this whole scene reminded me of Gabrielle's scratching Xena's nose in "The Debt II," emotionally if not in style. Xena cries out, "I'll love you forever," as Gabrielle is dragged out of the way. "Get her out alive," she tells Joxer, who's standing by the door.

Now, it's Xena's turn to re-enact the crucifixion scene without Gabrielle. An even more dour mood prevails as rain pours from the sky and everything's bathed in a gray, lifeless light. Of course this simply makes Caesar and Alti horny. They kiss sensually as Xena's thrown on the cross in front of them. By now, Xena's face shows us she's ready to just get it over with, she's given up. I can't remember when I've seen our hero look so forlorn, with the possibly exception of the time Gabrielle was lost in Dahak's pit in "Sacrifice II." Caesar and Alti slip into his quarters to enact the bedroom scene we saw earlier in Alti's visions. Turns out it was Alti riding Rome. But how did Xena come to be in the visions, as she's outside being killed at the time?

Another brilliant restaging of a brilliant original scene follows. Just as in "Ides of March," as the nails are being driven into Xena's hands, we see cross-fades with Caesar and Alti going at it, similar to the way they cut to Brutus' stabbing of Caesar in "Ides." Again, Caesar can't avoid his fate, even with a different time line to work with. As the first nail goes through Xena's hand, and she cries out in disturbing agony, we see Alti pull a knife and thrust into Caesar's chest. Each blow to Xena results in a complimentary blow to Caesar. Alti gets up to leave his bloodied corpse staring up from the bed. I'm surprised Caesar didn't fight back more, trying to throw off Alti, but instead he just grabs the sheets and takes it.

Only about five more minutes left. How the heck will they get out of this one? Leaving Gabrielle alive was Caesar's big mistake, although he didn't live quite long enough to find that out himself. The bard obviously knows where the Fates live, as we see her charge in, still wearing her clothes from the last scene, only now she's drenched and looking about as mad as she did in "Ides of March" when she carved up some Roman soldiers. As she goes in to get some answers, we get to see shots of Xena being hoisted into full vertical position, with the cross again falling hard into the hole, causing her to gasp in pain. Of course Alti comes out to enjoy the show.

Gabrielle finds the loom in a mess. There appear to be big hunks of it protruding down to the floor in a tangled mess. The Fates tell her they have been unable to tend the loom since being chained up by Caesar. "We're stuck in this world because of you?" Gabrielle asks rhetorically. Actually, Gabrielle, I believe Caesar was slightly at fault here, but she's not in the mood to listen to reason. She simply seethes with outrage. The Fates cower at the sight. Gabrielle's had it with this whole sordid mess, and she grabs a torch and heads to the loom. The Fates caution her that destroying the loom will destroy everything. "So be it," Gabrielle says with a slightly maniacal little laugh. Surely she's not going to burn down the loom? Won't that be the total end of the show--heck the end of all that ever was?!

But by the gods, she torches the thing. It pops and explodes and hurls out tongues of flame to encircle the bard ("Between the Lines" anyone?). Alti feels something's wrong, and implodes into a skeletal ball of flame only to disappear. Xena, soaked but not quite dead, sees this, and knows somehow that Gabrielle has come to the rescue. "I love you, Gabrielle," she intones with one last burst of subtext.

Then, just when you think this show has shown you just about everything over the course of six years, we see the loom go up in flame, taking out Gabrielle. Xena, still on the cross, is engulfed in flame. Then we pull back from planet Earth into the stars, and we see the planet blow up in flame, sending out a cleansing wave of flame to engulf everything we see. Holy cow! What next?

The camera dissolves to a fog shrouded woods. Gabrielle, looking quite well off and in her standard season six outfit, is walking along a path and peering about, as though searching for something. The music sounds like something out of "The Shining," very menacing, and Gabrielle appears wary. Where are we? Suddenly, Xena rides up on Argo (II?) and greets Gabrielle with a simple, "Hey." "Hi," Gabrielle replies cooly, acting like she only partly knows who this is in front of her. "You brought the world back to us," Xena informs her. "I'm glad. I like this one better," Gabrielle says in the understatement of the season. She allows just the slightest trace of a smile to cross her face at the thought. "Even though you're not a famous playwright?" Xena asks, almost like she fears the answer. "Fame--who needs it?" Gabrielle replies as though nothing could be more obvious. And with that, Xena reaches out her arm, drawing Gabrielle up behind her on Argo, just like when they teamed up in "Sins of the Past."

And with that, some of their stiffness falls away. "Did you really like my play?" Gabrielle asks, finally allowing a trace of emotion to return to her voice. "It was alright," Xena says dryly. As Argo rides off, she continues: "Coulda done with a few more fight scenes." "Everyone's a critic," Gabrielle retorts playful. And the episode ends. With a laugh. And confusion.

And you're left wondering what that ending was all about. Like "2001: A Space Odyssey" or some Fellini film, we're left with an ambiguous ending that almost turns everything before it inside out. How did Gabrielle know anything would be left after she destroyed the loom, much less her life with Xena? I guess their love really will withstand all challenges, and she had such strong faith in that that it shaped the void left behind. And where is it that they find themselves now? Is this the 25 years in the future timeline, or has Gabrielle perhaps taken them to an even more innocent time, perhaps to their original time line in which Joxer is still alive. Certainly, in a season themed to pleasing the fans, this would be considered a nice reversal of their Eve-derived time travel. But Xena said that everything happened as it should, so perhaps their proper place is 25 years in their future. And I thought it was brilliant the way they played down X&G's reunion at this point. Instead of a tearful greeting full of hugs and deep, meaningful looks, the pair confront each other in a detached, abstracted way, like astronaut Dave Bowman calmly facing his final destiny before the Black Monolith in "2001." Perhaps they are in some nether world and are only now on a journey to their proper place in history. Suffice to say, this ending hit me broadside, totally taking me off guard. It was brilliant, and in an episode filled with some of their best material since the Valkyrie stories, it provided that "Gosh, I can't believe they're doing that" moment almost every episode has.

Deja vu all over again! If reliving the past is this entertaining, bring on more! I didn't even mind all the Alti-related old episode clips.

Well, I inverted my usual review methodology, so you've read my final rating and summary at the beginning. Yes, a darn near perfect episode, and one that will serve to define this season, if not the series. Presumably next episode will bring answers to some of the questions raised by the ending, and I am now psyched to see how this incredible series takes it to the finish line. Prepare to be awed.
RickRick w/chakram(Gabriologist since the late 20th Century)
Visit my web site at http://www.ricks-studio.com for Episode Reviews,
Humorous Quotes, and other Xena-themed writing!

"Don't burn the loom! You'll change everything!" --The Fates
"Good. Maybe we'll be renewed for a seventh season!" --Gabrielle, torch in hand

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© 2001 by Rick Hines.
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