Rick's Studio

Well, this week we got something a little different this season: just a good solid episode of the show. No big themes, no bizarre comic conceits, no previously used footage. A bit o' comedy, a bit o' drama, some nice writing, Joxer flirting with Amazons...but I get ahead of myself!

Right off the bat we see Cyane giving Rhea and Erris (sp?) a hard time for not having the proper gung-ho Amazon attitude. Last week they were trying to kill horses. This week, Ted's going to be blinded just for looking at a few naked girls. Rhea will be banished from the tribe for kissing a man "out of season". Seems like this tribe's a bit harsh! I don't remember Gab's original Amazon tribe being quite this, um, didactic. Doesn't seem like a fun place to live, Gabrielle's upcoming nesting feelings aside. Sure, this tribe needs Gab: they need her sense of humor!

It's kind of interesting how noticeable it is that Cyane's visibly distraught over losing her position as Queen to Gabrielle (and Xena, in a way). Erris says, "Who wouldn't want them to stay?" How about your leader who's losing her job? Seems like the girls would know Cyane well enough by now to see this. I guess this tribe tends to be rather self-absorbed as well!

Gabrielle uses this as an excuse to pull out her Amazon animal skin clothes again. I swear, she looks about fourteen years old when she puts them on, for some reason. Personally, I prefer a little more skin (Renee's, not some animal's), at the risk of sounding like a drooling male. I mean, that is one of the show's selling points, right?

Why does Gabrielle jump at every possible opportunity to give up her life on the road with Xena? She wanted to go to bard school back in "Athens City Academy", in "Crusader" she wanted to drop out and found a hospice, and here she wants to get Xena settled down in Amazon tribal life. I seem to recall other examples vaguely. What does she expect Xena to do in those circumstances? The warrior princess would get bored out of her mind! Surely she has had enough insight into life by now to know, at least while they are physically able ("When I'm too old to do kicks 'n' stuff?"), that their place is to roam about doing this fighting evil thing. Perhaps this whole baby thing has everybody going a bit whacko (except Xena, who seems more focused by it).

Joxer is caught sneaking a peek at the skinny dipping Amazons. "This is a terrible offense against our honor," Cyane says. C'mon, lady, you were out in the open air skinny dipping, making a bunch of racket. What wandering traveler passing by isn't going to pop by to check it out? Seems if privacy is such an issue, they should find more private ways to bathe! Again, this Amazon tribe seems a bit humorless.

Obviously, the writers are giving us a bit of foreshadowing by Xena's mentioning a message from Cleopatra. Joxer's failure to bring the message made a good excuse for Xena to give him the cold shoulder. "Never saw this man before in my life!" she says. And Gabrielle's continued fascination with settling down, despite what's going on around her, was rather amusing.

Going back to a subject I touched on in last week's review of "Lifeblood", I notice Rhea wants a baby of her own. "Of course, first I've got to get close to a man, which isn't easy when you're an Amazon." Exactly! What were they thinking when they outlawed men in the tribe? I mean, it's cool on TV, but totally unworkable in real life. I guess I'm overanalyzing this aspect. Of course, if they had lots of men, Joxer wouldn't have made quite the hot stud muffin he is here! But who owns those bratty kids who torment Joxer throughout the show? There're men about there some place.

Once again, we see another side kick wanna be! This time Erris is going for the presumed job vacancy when Xena rides off and leaves Queen Gabrielle enthroned back in the village. At least she didn't try to beat up Gab to get the work! And she's already got the cute, blonde thing going. I never get tired of seeing these urchins try to wedge the bard from her place by Xena's side.

The steam bath scene where the girls discuss men was classic Xena. Seeing Xena's hardened cynicism rub against the naive Amazons' youthful exuberance was perfect. Seeing Gabrielle "translate" Xena's biting remarks into something a little more politically correct was hilarious. Don't want to scare the girls off men entirely, do we? "You're always hoping for Greek fire, but sometimes you just get diddly" indeed, Xena! And the looks Xena and Gabrielle exchange, when Gab lets out the news of their possible staying on, were simply Lucy and Renee at their acting best. A brief, wordless exchange that was actually a major conversation. Brilliant.

Xena asks Gabrielle what she'll do while Gab's out "queening." Her reply: "Relax. You could try cleaning this place up a bit, playing with your daughter, unless you just want to hunt and kill something." What kind of advice is this for a warrior? Seems like quite a waste of Xena's natural talent. Right here is when I knew Xena's stay would be a short one here. Seemed like the writers wanted to tease us with the idea of Xena and Gabrielle parting ways, but Gab makes it known in no uncertain terms, a couple of times, if Xena leaves, she leaves with her, so there wasn't much suspense there. But at least now, unlike in past seasons, the girls are committed to staying together.

Funny how last week, Gabrielle was all about breaking the old Amazon traditions and replacing them with better ones, but here, she's all "do it by the code" which almost gets Joxer blinded and killed. Hmmm, doesn't seem consistent to me. And if all the Amazon queens are named Cyane, does this mean if Gabrielle decides to stay on as queen, she'll change her name to Cyane? Keep your name, Gabster.

More clever writing: seeing Xena manipulate Erris into cleaning the hut was awesome, and what would a current episode be without at least one scene showing off baby Eve? Here, the adventuresome tot almost climbs into a fire by crawling through a hollow log. Watching Xena, totally unworried, use her whip to gently save the baby again showed us what a cutie Eve is.

Watching Xena try and fit in by dancing with the Amazons was a riot! What further proof do we need that Xena's not a "joiner"? We know she can dance from "A Tale of Two Muses", but here, she's totally not into it. The "Two Thumbs Up" dance she did was funny, however, in her "don't give a damn" way.

Even Gabrielle can no longer ignore Xena's apathy, and this leads to another well written scene as the two discuss their feelings on the subject. And what better way to end the disagreement than by having Xena finally read Gabrielle's scrolls. The look of revelation on Xena's face as she read Gab's description of her courage brought tears to my eyes. How could these two friends not stay together, and on the road as well? This leads to another scene of equal depth later on as Xena tells Gabrielle how much she enjoyed the stories. Xena even wants to stay now and see Gabrielle become queen, but you know it ain't gonna happen.

I'm still surprised at how cruel Gab can be to Joxer sometimes. After all they've been through this season with their (non)relationship and baring of feelings, why does she continue to slap him, poke him, and generally humiliate him every chance she gets? She seems to at times have genuine feelings for the guy, but other times she gives him no respect at all (like the times when she can't remember anything good he's done, despite massive contrary evidence). Just the writers in a rut, I guess.

More great Xenacized sounds effects during Joxer's seduction scene. "Oh, it's working alright" and the following spring sound, followed by the fierce animal growl as Rhea ravishes him with kisses.

Sorry, but I absolutely loathe wrestling. Suddenly seeing the show lurch into a professional wrestling parody suddenly threw my mood into a tailspin. Didn't Gabrielle and Aphrodite do this earlier this season? Wasn't that close enough? But, I tried to get into it, and I began to enjoy seeing Lucy really mug it up. I think she was having fun with the role, and that saved this whole scene for me. Reminded me of the time Ares drove her temporarily insane with all those daffy expressions and exaggerated movements of hers. Xena seems to really enjoy beating the stuffing out of Joxer ("Now I will penetrate his brain with the great Wet Willie!"). Seems like she could've gotten to the neck-pinch/death move a bit more quickly. At least Joxer gets in a couple of licks and ties Xena in the ropes for a few seconds.

And now that Joxer has barely escaped with his life, only now does Gabrielle stand up and demand a change to the traditions. Seems like she could've made this speech back at the beginning of all this trouble and saved her friend from some real hurtin'. Cyane says she thought she was just doing what Gabrielle wanted, enforcing the ancient customs. Well, that was the impression Gabrielle was giving off. Seems like the bard was a bit slow on the uptake this week.

Best quote of an EP full of them:

Joxer falls down after being revived by Xena.

Xena: "Every time you turn his brain off...."

Well, as I said at the beginning, this was a good, solid workman-like Xena. Certainly not one of the best episodes, but nothing to be disappointed in either. Nothing too bizarre for the purists. Many good heart-to-heart talks between Xena and Gab, a feature that's been in short supply this season. The young Amazons were cute as they tried to audition for Xena or seduce Joxer. Joxer was funny and annoying in his special way. Plenty of moral conundrums for Gabrielle to mull over in her inimitable style. Yes, a four-of-five chakram rating. Perhaps the only thing lacking on this show was a good strong villain (a misguided Amazon queen just isn't dramatic enough!). I can't wait to see what happens when they travel down the Nile, as Xena puts it. I smell trouble a-brewin'! Too bad we have to go through some more reruns before seeing that! Battle on!