Rick's Studio

Another new week, another new Xena. Life is good. Well, there is that little Renee getting engaged thingy, but let's not let that spoil a good episode. By-the-by, for those of you who have written saying they like these reviews of mine, I was recently on the Whoosh! episode guide, and I realized I'm basically doing what they do over there (although they don't have my panache! Lol!), so you guys might want to check out their web site for additional views or thoughts on old episodes.

First, let me say that, while I enjoyed this episode as a stand-alone episode, I found myself constantly nit-picking little things that I found either out-of-character or conflicted past continuity. I will discuss these as they occur. A non-Xena fanatic probably would never have noticed these things, but look who has a Xena standee in their living room!

As usual, TPTB let it rip in the opening scene. They throw us Athena's female archers (silver costumes--where's the black leather?) who manage to shoot one of the guards in the chest before Xena arrives. Although Xena was uncharacteristically late, the poor fellow managed to escape with his life, only to have Xena unceremoniously rip out the arrow later. Ouch! First glitch: I thought they have made a point several times during the show you have to remove an arrow by pushing it though and cutting off the head of the arrow. I'm surprised Xena didn't hook the guy's lung and pull it out too.

Speaking of Xena, did anyone else jump up yelling "YES!" when a lean Xena came flipping over the trees and into battle wearing the old warrior outfit? Standee Xena is happy to be back in style. Change Gab's hair, clothes, etc., but I like Xena just the way she is (can you imagine Xena with short Gab-hair or wearing bright colors?). She's still got the new chakram (that's cool), but what a snarl she lets forth! As Gabrielle says, "Mommy's working!"

Sound effect alert: Xena slices Ilainus in the face with her sword, causing a sound something between a smack and a squish. Sounds like she removed half the girl's face, but, no! Just a scratch! I know the sound effects in the Xenaverse are bigger than life, but this was a definite mismatch.

OK, we know Ares and Xena work great together (dramatically speaking), but I really loved the exchanges between Athena and her brother Ares. Both these gods play it smart, and the sparks fly between them as they try to outthink and outmaneuver each other.

I found Athena's reticence to attack Amphipolis at Ares' prompting strange. She doesn't want to shed any blood of the peasants' since they are loyal to her. Surely, as we are about to find out, this woman is intelligent enough to realize that Xena will never allow Eve to be taken without a bloody battle. She seems to know all about Ares' recent indiscretions, so she must know something about Xena's personality as well. Besides, when have a few innocent lives mattered to the Greek gods? Just a glaring plot device used to give Xena time to prepare her defenses.

I liked the mock-up of Amphipolis they had. I wonder if they put little Xena and Gabrielle action figures in there when they arrived? I can see it now: "Athena, look! This one can throw a little chakram!"

After seeing the original Xena recently on the SciFi network, "Sins of the Past", it was interesting to compare the townspeople's reactions to Xena's arrival. The first time, they were ready to stone her without much prompting, here they are suddenly ready to fight to the death for her baby which they've never seen before. Hmm. Speaking of which, later on Gabrielle gives the troops an impassioned lecture about fighting for the baby because next time the gods might come for their own babies. In the show, this talk stops all the grumbling, but in reality, I think the peasants of that day and age would toss Eve to the gods without much thought just to keep the peace. There's just too much for them to lose. And besides, how many times is a god going to show up to swipe their baby? Not a frequent occurrence, although I'm sure it does happen once and again in scattered villages.

Speaking of Gabrielle's talks, how about the one she gives initially to the peasants at their first meeting. They ask if the Twilight of the Gods is indeed at hand. To paraphrase, Gabrielle says, Yeah, Eli took care of that by letting himself get killed by Ares. As a peasant, I would not find this reassuring. If Ares can dispatch Eli, their spiritual leader, so easily, what chance do I, a peasant, have? I think I'll go hide in the cellar until this fighting's over!

I liked seeing Athena and Xena go at it verbally as well. Again, two intelligent people duking it out. However, I do find it strange that as Athena confronts Xena, with Cyrene at her side holding Eve, she doesn't just whip out a godly fireball and blow Eve away. I mean, she's right there--just do it! But then we'd have forty five minutes to kill, eh? And it's too bad Eve has to put Athena into the position of bad guy, since she does seem to be one of the nicer goddesses, her godly powers tempered by intelligence and reason. I guess this is a battle where there is no neutrality; you're on one side or the other.

As Athena addresses the peasants, they break into a song of solidarity (apparently). I know I've heard this before, and I think it's on the first Xena CD, but I can't quite place it. Anyone out there can fill me in?

As I mentioned last week, the battles are again quite violent. People are burning, arrows are picking off people left and right, swords are used to stab, not smack. Even Gabrielle hacks away with swords, staffs, and a newly found mallet-like thing.

Oops Dept.: when Ilainus sets off the explosion in the tunnel, watch the tunnel walls as the flame shoots off after Xena. Note how the tunnel wall billows out a bit as the flames rush past in one cut! Guess they use brown fabric to simulate the earthen walls. Cleaver how Xena deflected the explosion upwards to disrupt the battle, but see how close she came to taking out Gabrielle! Whew!

Something I absolutely hate every time I see it: when Athena's archers attack the barricade, Ilainus shoots an arrow right at a little girl. The fact men are being slaughtered all around is nothing compared to the life of this one little girl, or so they'd have us think. Anyway, the girl sees the arrow coming. She has time to draw a big breath, let out a long, loud scream, and draw another breath before the arrow arrives. During this time, Xena is risking her life to reach the girl in time. The part I hate is, during this same amount of time, the girl could've ducked out of the way like, twice! Just move your GD head! But you see this happen on many shows, so oh well....

What was Xena thinking when she offered "a fair fight" with Athena as a way to decide Eve's fate? From Athena's viewpoint, she must've thought she held all the cards at that point. Why roll the dice and possibly give up a sure thing? Surely Xena knew that wasn't worth even bringing up.

Another possible continuity glitch spotted: when Xena and Cyrene have their little talk about how Cyrene stood up to Athena, Xena apologizes for being such a problem child. In everything else ever said on the show, they imply Xena was a model kid growing up. It wasn't until she joined the village defense and became a warrior that things kind of spiraled out of control. Or was perhaps Cyrene only speaking as a mother of the little problems all kids have, and she was only kidding Xena? Still, what were the "terrible fourteens" all about? Gotta be a story there!

So, Xena wanders into Ares' local temple and puts "The Deal" back on the table. What the heck's going on here? This is when the show really began to get interesting, as each of the main characters begins to put their various plots into action. What's Xena up to with Ares? She can't be serious; we know her better than that. What's up with Ares? This question always applies to Ares, but this week especially. Turning down Xena's offer? He can't be serious; we know him better than that. And of course, by this point, we pretty much know Athena's plans, and with the poisoned water supply, she appears to be virtually unstoppable, even if Xena gets Ares' help.

So Ares and Xena come up with some of the best banter. Ares recites his motto: "I just wanna know, what's in it for me?" I have to say, Xena coming on to Ares (without an arrow from Cupid) shocked me, but when Ares turned Xena down, my jaw hit the floor. How are they gonna explain that? Well, Ares ain't stupid, and he's got a point. Xena's acting totally out of character, so she must have something planned. Still, Ares is such a hound dog, you'd think he'd go for it and enjoy it while he can! Instead, he checks out his options. Xena says, "I'm offering you a deal, and I don't go back on my promises." Let's remember that line at the end of the episode. Then Ares' best line of the show: "No, no you don't. But you always come up with some way to mess with my head." Ares, you have a way with words, my man!

So now Gabrielle's stature has risen to where the gods come at her call as well. Not the little girl from Potadeia anymore! And here she is making (vague) threats against Ares if he lays a hand on Xena. Gabrielle makes an excellent point, however, when she asks Ares why, if he likes the old warrior Xena so much, does he like the good Xena so much. Then she as much as points Ares at Xena and says go get her when she says Xena would do anything to save her baby, including making love to him. "Has she ever said anything she doesn't mean?" This turns out to be part of X&G's master plot, which we don't find out until later, but at the time, I thought, Gab, what are you doing? You're telling him Xena's fair game! Of course, our bard's too smart for that, as we find out.

Ares has a point about the Twilight being a self-fulfilling prophecy. "What can Xena's baby do to us, really?" he asks. If everyone would just mellow out, it seems like this all would pass. Just a thought. But they don't call them The Fates for nothing, do they?

So Ares comes home to find Xena, in full seductress mode, waiting for him. I'll give it to her, she may not find many men who live up to her standards, but when she does, she knows how to put on the charm. But the real pleasure here is watching Ares' expressions as his desire to have Xena wars with feeling that something's up. Also loved seeing the look on his face as Xena grabs him and tosses him to the couch. But the attack is merely Xena's version of foreplay. Seems like she and evil Xena from the alternate Hercaverse both like it rough.

Does it get any rougher than having the wall explode on you during an intimate moment? I loved Cyrene's reaction at finding her daughter with a god. "I would've preferred Apollo, or maybe Hermes." Ha ha!

Another point I found hard to believe. Xena finally appears with Eve, ready to turn her over apparently. Well, I'm sorry, but when you saw the baby totally covered up, you knew it was a trick. Like Xena's going to give up her baby without one last look at its cute little face? Athena should have spotted it, as well as suspecting that Xena would never just turn the baby over without a fight. I thought this scene lost a lot of the dramatic impact because you just knew Xena would not put Eve in such a dangerous position.

But when Ares shows up, to, gasp, fight for good, things get interesting. As Athena notes, "You're really whipped, aren't you?' But I was surprised that when Ilainus was killed (with a right vicious and squishy-sounding sword thrust by the warrior princess), all the soldiers immediately ran off. Seems to me, Athena's still there to lead them. Let's fight it out, guys.

I felt sorry for Ares, however. He thought he had a deal with Xena, and he tried to live up to his end by fighting with her at the end. But Xena pulls a technicality on him by showing the "baby" was not a baby after all. Seems he should've gotten something out of it (maybe a nice dinner date?) since he acted on good faith. I think Xena was a bit of a bitch about this, but then again, this probably wasn't the right time for the two to really hook up. And lord knows he's screwed Xena over often enough, she probably owes him one. I still worry when I see the look on her face when she says, "I felt something."

And they live happily ever after, at least until next week (which looks like a comedy with Joxer again). Well, I'd say this is the weakest episode since the last rerun break, but considering the quality of the last handful of episodes, that's not much of a knock. As I said, there were a few quibbles on my part (including being rather light on stuff for Gabrielle to do), but that wasn't enough to sink an episode with two good gods, a good evil warrior, lots of great action, cleaver dialogue, and the whole Xena seduces Ares theme. And Athena was a good addition to the cast. Let's hope she returns to cause more trouble later on. Best to park your analytical mind at the door for this episode, and enjoy the thrill ride. Three and a half out of four chakrams for another strong outing.

"Xena! I've caught you smoking again! Keep this up, young lady, and soon you'll be terrorizing the neighborhood with an army of evil warriors!" --Cyrene, during Xena's "terrible fourteens"