Rick's Studio

It really sucks being one of the last to see Xena each week, since by the time I write my review, it seems kind of like old news (and a couple of you have probably already seen next week's episode). But I love talking/writing about Xena, and no one else I know wants to hear about it! That said, I'm amazed I didn't see more discussion on this episode ("Eternal Bonds"), since it seemed stuffed to the gills with all sorts of juicy Xenaishness (okay, I made that last word up!). Perhaps I can stir up some more conversation on this quite excellent entry in the Xena series, so sit back, relax, smoke 'em if you got 'em, and enjoy my lengthy appraisal:

You can almost smell a good episode coming up from the very beginning as X&G tear through the storm on their galloping horses (what the heck is Gab's horse's name, anyway?). The lightning bolts, the twister, the ominous figure off in the distance, the burning trees to jump! Whoa! Then, in typical Xena fashion, they go into "The Cave"! Lol!

Once in the cave, we get our first real look at Eve (not counting a quick peek during the chase). Again, I am on record as saying I don't like babies in TV shows (unless that's part of the original concept). I mean, what can you do with a baby? But Eve won me over immediately. This baby, despite having no lines, oozes personality. They found a great looking kid, shot her smiling a lot, and made her into Xena's foil. And that is what really sold me on the baby: it gave Xena, who doesn't normally talk a lot, especially to explain her plans or actions, a chance to "think out loud". Her constant asides to Eve throughout the episode really give us a new peek inside the Warrior Princess' mental processes. I've heard Eve grows up quickly and goes off on her own, but I think this is one baby I will enjoy while it's around and miss when it's gone.

And my kudos to the crew for using what appears to be an actual live baby in all the scenes rather than a doll. There are many places they could've gotten away with this, and nobody would really care since that's television convention. The only doll I detect was when Xena slings the baby from a high tree limb in the final battle scene, but that's probably dangerous for a baby, so you can't blame them for that.

You can say what you want about Joxer's abilities in many areas, but he is obviously good with kids. His scene meeting Eve for the first time was really cute and touching. Even Xena looks impressed as she introduces him as their "very good friend".

When the Magi arrived on the scene, I was kind of apprehensive. Obviously, they were slyly playing with the idea of us mistaking Eve as some sort of Christ-like baby, but the writers, as usual, had other things on their minds! The Magi try to give them deadly gifts, and turn out to be agents of the Gods. Yes, things twist and turn in the Xenaverse.

Then, just before the opening credits play, we're left with the female Magi saying, "The child must die!" as our heroes face down some really nasty looking swords and spinning thingies. The hatchets with propeller blades were nice, but what was their power source? Yes, folks, we're in for a bumpy ride!

As the first fight sequence began to play itself out, I noticed the fighting was rather brutal. Lots of stabbing and slicing, blood and dead bodies. Well, these are agents of the Gods--probably tough to discourage. Seems like as the series has continued, Xena's become more about knocking 'em down than killing 'em (probably partly Gabrielle's influence, partly her own maturing process). But this theme continued throughout the show. As Eve's arrival approached, I feared that XWP would soften up a bit, if you catch my drift. But when I think about it, when Xena's protecting her child, she'll be one lean, mean defending machine, and what better way to do that than by killing them all. With Gab a warrior of near Xena's ability, and Xena now a protective mother, the show may be more violent than ever (and I don't mean that as a negative or positive thing, just something growing naturally from the story line).

So, Ares comes at the call of "Rat"! Had to laugh at that one! After last week's love confession, Ares' appearance promised some heat, and he delivers here big time. More on that later!

Obviously, a big part of this episode's appeal is in seeing Joxer and Gabrielle finally get to hash out their feelings properly. Joxer's proclamation of love back in "Animal Attraction" never seemed to really grab hold. There was simply too much other stuff going on at the same time. Here, the two are forced together, and Joxer's approaching delirium loosens up his tongue enough to say the things he might not normally have the courage to. And Gabrielle's answers to him are finally heart-felt and well-said, as befitting a sensitive young bard. As she says, you love who you love, and it just isn't there for her, at least not in Joxer's way. But I think she finally realizes she does love Joxer, in her own tender way.

I found Gabrielle's reaction to Xena's request for her to ride with Joxer for the remedy to be interesting. She really sounds like she'd rather stay with Xena and let Joxer find his own damn cure! Sure, she couldn't remember anything good that Joxer's done a couple weeks ago, but they are good friends. If Xena hadn't insisted, Joxer'd probably be lying dead under a bush somewhere half-way to the Mandrake tree right now. A flash of loving Yoga Karma Stupid Girl right then would've been in order! It isn't until she sees the spreading poison that she utters "Joxer!" with any sound of compassion. But, they did just have a fight, so maybe I'm over-reacting.

Xena trivia: many of you many not know this, but I auditioned for the part of "stunt baby" for this episode. They needed an actor to fill in during Xena' breast feeding scene in the woods. Unfortunately, they said I was too tall for the role.

I loved Xena's new trick where she stomps her foot on her sword, and it throws the chakram up into her hand. Another nice move by the Warrior Princess. And speaking of new moves, I believe this is the first time she's used the infamous dirty-diaper-to-the-face technique! Just when you think you've seen it all.... And again, the battle is simply vicious, what with faces impaled by diaper pins and all! At least the bodies didn't vaporize! And a nice ominous touch for putting a big old drop of blood on Eve's face.

When Xena and Ares finally get down to a face-to-face, it's interesting to see Ares has dropped his reticence about telling her his true feelings. He says flat out he loves her and will do anything to prove it. He's become so slippery over the years, it's hard to know whether to believe him or if it's just some conniving plan of his. But when he says, "A fight is a fight, no matter which side you're on," somehow it makes sense. Perhaps we'll see him fighting for good soon. Yeah, right! Next thing you know, Callisto will be an angel! (Wait a minute--she IS an angel!)

After what I just wrote about Gabrielle's attitude towards Joxer, now she admits it: "I can be a bitch sometimes, huh?" Seems she and Joxer have more in common than she thought, as sidekicks and caring friends. Yes, I think Gabrielle is beginning to think of Jox as part of her travelling "family" now. Clever bit of writing here.

We've seen the black leather clad Amazons recently, and when Artemis' female warriors show up just before the commercial break, I took them to be Amazons. Why is virtually everyone wearing black leather this season? Surely they had other fabrics available back then?

I loved the scene where Xena mulls over her dream of Ares while hacking her way through the brush. The facial expressions alone where hilarious, and her banter with Eve kept me in stitches! And all you parents out there: it's never too early to teach a kid how to leave a false trail!

During Ares and Xena's little tree top talk, we discover the God of War may not be as innocently in love as we might think. He seems to make his help to Xena, the woman he purportedly loves, conditional on her agreeing to bear him a baby. Perhaps this is not so much a weakness in his affections for Xena as it is a weakness in the way the Gods think. Then he starts threatening Joxer, Gabrielle and Eve. I'm surprised he doesn't threaten to make Argo into a pot of glue. What a guy! No wonder Xena refuses to play his little reindeer games. Perhaps her strength now owes something to Gabrielle showing her over the years what true, selfless love is.

So Joxer and Gabrielle talk over their feelings as he lays possibly dying, as I discussed earlier. As many people as have died lately, would it surprise you if they killed off Joxer? We've lost Eli and Ephiny, to name just two big guest stars. But if the poison doesn't do him in, three armies converging on the scene might do the trick.

And as usual, we finish off with a climactic battle. This one too gives us a good dose of bloody intensity we haven't seen lately. Even Gabrielle is using her sais to none-too-gently gore her opponents. But what I found myself wondering is: if all three armies are fighting Xena and Eve, not each other, what is all that running around in the background? As Xena and company fight off the invariable solo charges from the soldiers, all Hades is breaking loose about them. The background actors don't seem to be fighting each other, so why not converge on the enemy in one big wave and wipe her out? It looks good on screen, but makes no logical sense. I guess being stupid is a prerequisite for being evil!

Seeing Ares freeze the battle action for a few quiet, tender (?) moments with Xena was new. Seeing them walk among the frozen people was cool (no pun intended). And again, Xena wins the battle of the wills with Ares, but how much longer can she hold out? She looks very tempted indeed.

And after evil is vanquished and Joxer is saved, we find Eve splattered with blood again. I'm not sure it literally means anything, but it certainly plays into Xena's fear of the child's exposure to violence. This was a nice little device, and I wonder if it'll keep recurring until Xena becomes mad with paranoia? Sort of like something Edgar Allen Poe might write.

Seeing our fearless trio talking as they walked off into the distance at the end made me realize how close the two women have become since the baby first disturbed the plot line. Xena has more respect for Gabrielle's abilities, Gabrielle no longer seems to be jealous of Xena, and the horrors of the Rift are all but forgotten at this point. I guess after dying and coming back to life, certain things become sort of trivial, eh? They are united in their determination to give this baby the life of freedom they want for it.

This four-chakram effort leaves the series still riding a creative swell. Since the last rerun period, we've been subjected to a whole string of episodes that rank with the best of the series, in my opinion. And it looks like some of the best of the current plot lines will be picked up again next week when it appears as the Gods again bear down, Xena finally gives in to Ares' charms. Or she at least appears even more tempted than here. And, FLASH!, Gabrielle still looks hot! But I get ahead of myself--wait until next week, if you can!