Rick's Studio

LYRE, LYRE, HEARTS ON FIRE

Well, the nice thing about missing an episode of Xena is, the next weekend you get TWO new episodes! (At least until they cut off WGN from my cable service next week, the *@%8?# cable scum!) Just like I thought, after a mediocre, by Xena standards, start, the season is boring on full speed ahead. The fabulous "Seeds of Faith", the delightful romp "Lyre, Lyre" (reviewed below), and the cute clip show "Punch Lines" in which our fave bard gets back to business. Wow! And the previews for "God Fearing Child" next week look equally excellent. Battle on, Xena, battle on! So, without further ado, on to my delayed review of "Lyre, Lyre":

Well, this show was just totally ridiculous. It had nothing to do with anything, but I loved it for the goofy mess it was. After all the heavy episodes this season, at last the rip-roaring comedy show that "Animal Attraction" was probably meant to be. During the lyre discovery scene before the opening credits, all I could think was, "Oh, no, not rock 'n' roll on TV? That never works! Did the Partridge Family teach us nothing?" The hair was standing up on the back of my neck! I should've had more faith, because the music rocked (in a Joseph LoDuca sort of 21st Century-meets-the-Xenaverse way), and I haven't laughed so much through a Xena episode since "Fins, Femmes & Gems". Rather than try to analyze this delightful-but-illogical episode in the traditional manner, I think the only way to deal with it is to list the nuggets that tickled my fancy and other body parts:

1. Draco. This guy is in serious danger of becoming the best warlord of the series, if not quite the best bad guy in general (nobody beats Callisto, but she's not a warlord). Let's see more of him!

2. Black leather Amazons. Even they get a face-lift this season!

3. An apt Joxer. After squeezing him in a few episodes he didn't really need to be in, here he finds the perfect vehicle for his talents--but no rocked out version of Joxer the Mighty?

4. Continuity. I wondered when Draco would get back to chasing Gab around. Seems like he and Joxer could drink a few beers and shed a few tears together on this subject. It's just hilarious the way Draco is so destructive in the name of love!

5. As a musician, I'd love to know how they get those electric guitar sounds out of acoustic lyres!

6. Opening credits. No matter how weird the show gets, it's nice to have some things you can count on to remain the same! Lol!

7. 16 split screens. Sixteen times the Xena per viewing. What a concept!

8. Bad music. Once I realized the band auditioning for Gabrielle was actually playing something, not just making noise, I rather enjoyed it in a perverse sort of way. When's the album due out?

9. Gabby, entertainment director. I see the rigor of the auditioning is driving Gab to drinking tequila and limes. Would've like to see her tip one back though, instead of just serving as table dressing.

10. "No, they all suck!" You tell 'em, Gab!

11. Another one. Jace, the Euro-disco-trash-dancing-diva, was hilarious! Much more entertaining than Jett, the other of the triplets. Is he or isn't he gay--for once the subtext is out in the open, said in so many words or not! And from his dress and accent, I'd say they pulled this guy out of France circa Louis XVI--another Xena time conundrum!

12. Squeeze toy sounds during Joxer and Jace's embrace.

13. Pithy observations. "Joxer likes to think that he knows who he is, but all he really knows is who he wants to be." If that doesn't sum up the Joxer experience, and why he'll never get Gabrielle, well I just don't know....

14. Mom the Match-Maker. The woman means well, but she obviously doesn't have a clue what kind of man Xena needs to be happy. (And what does she make of Gabrielle?) Of course, much hilarity ensues!

15. Topsy turvy story. Notice how Joxer, usually the comic relief, carries the dramatic sub plot this time (man learns to love his brother despite outward appearances). The dramatic characters (Xena, Gab, et al) carry the comedy.

16. Jealous Gab. I loved the slow burn Gabrielle did as Joxer walks off with the Amazon. She was so used to being the star in Joxer's heaven, I don't think she cared much to find another up there with her. (And what does she think of Meg, Joxer's semi-regular sweetie?) I wonder what reaction she'd have if Draco found another love?

17. Off-screen violence. "How about a little casual sex?" POW!

18. "Always Something There To Remind Me". This song, and the short scene introducing it with Draco romancing Gabrielle, is the high spot of the show, IMHO. Funny in so many ways, I can hardly think of where to begin. Watching Draco crashing about and bellowing just drives me to uncontrollable fits of laughter!

19. Xena makes with the wit. "Well, make it snappy. I've got a lot of Greek losers to turn down."

20. Xena makes with the wit (again). "For crying out loud, what century are you living in?"

21. Not knowing when to quit. Cyrene just has to add, "Now, who did you say the father is?" Ba-da-bing!

22. Truer words.... "Gabrielle is not a 'chick'!" My feelings exactly, Draco!

23. They know their rock and roll. "Xena, nobody wants to be the first band." This discussion took place at virtually every show I ever played with my own band. If only all the booking agents looked like Gabrielle, it might've saved a lot of arguing! The musicians would be too intimidated to argue!

24. Xena invents Woodstock. Gabrielle warns the crowd there's some "bad souvlacki (sp?)" going around! Lol!

25. The MC5. I never thought I'd live to see the day an old MC5 song, "Kick Out the Jams", was used in such a fashion (even if they did edit out the "mother-f***er" refrain). The sixties have truly been co-opted by corporate America! Next musical, they'll be covering the Sex Pistols' "Anarchy In the Gree-K".

26. Gabrielle in a white fringed go-go bikini and boots. What's not to like? (Hey, Creation Ent--I want my 8x10 glossy!)

27. Jimi before he was Jimi. Draco burns his guitar on stage! My sides are hurting--make them stop!

28. Gabrielle stage dives. You knew she had it in her!

29. Draco stage dives. Surely you didn't think they'd catch him?

30. Xena and Draco rap. OK, so white kiwi princesses shouldn't rap, but Xena has many skills--and Draco actually sounded good doing it!

31. Nice tip of the hat. I liked the way Xena and Draco end up duking it out while riding on the crowd's shoulders. I take it this was an homage to their fight scene at the end of "Sins of the Past".

32. Gabrielle coins the term "rocker chick". Oh, please, I can't stand any more laughter!

33. Pregnant Xena in ponytails dances in Gab's go-go outfit. What a perfectly ludicrous ending to a perfectly ludicrous episode. I don't want a picture of it, but you have to admire the chutzpah (sp?). Thank goodness Ted Raimi didn't decide to try it on!

Well, if that's not 33 good reasons to give this episode five stars, I just don't know what is! My only nit-pick is I thought some of the lip-synching could've been better, but that's so minor in the face of all that was great about this episode. I need a good rub down now--my laughter muscles are all cramping up! I'm so jazzed (no pun intended) after watching this. And it was even better the second viewing. I just love this show.

Rick

(Gabriologist since the late 20th Century)

Visit my web site at ricks-studio.com.

"Hey, Renbee, can you get one of those white bikini things?" --Rick

"You just want me because I remind you of Gabrielle!" --Renbee

"Um, well...yeah!" --Rick

Return to Episode Index